Ceremony Manners & Checklist Guide Ceremony Manners & Checklist Guide 日本語

Ceremony Manners & Checklist Guide

How much to give, what to write, what to bring -
Japanese ceremony etiquette, all in one place.

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White condolence envelope inscribed 御香典 with a black-and-silver mizuhiki cord

Koden Envelope & Amount Guide

Pick relationship, age and region for a typical amount, then follow the writing steps.

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A wedding ring resting in an open gift box

Goshugi Envelope & Amount Guide

Typical wedding-gift amounts by relationship, and every writing step.

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A hand writing a checklist by hand in a notebook

Ceremony Packing Checklist

Pick wedding, funeral or memorial service and get a tailored packing list.

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A hand holding a pen while reviewing a written page

Taboo Word Checker

Paste a speech or condolence text and highlight taboo words, with rephrasings.

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Look up manners

A groom adjusting the cuffs of his white shirt

Wedding: Attire & Reception

Attire basics for men and women, plus reception-desk duty.

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The bride and groom toasting with glasses among wedding guests

Wedding: Guest Etiquette

From the RSVP card to gift money and reception behavior.

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White and pale yellow chrysanthemum flowers

Funeral: Attire & Items

Mourning attire for men, women and children, and what to bring.

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Rows of small candle flames glowing in the dark

Funeral: Incense & Etiquette

The incense offering step by step, and condolence phrases.

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A quiet Japanese garden with a five-story pagoda

Memorial Services

49th-day and anniversary preparations for hosts and guests.

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A single white flower against a soft green background

Family Funeral Manners

Whether to attend, declined koden, and later condolence visits.

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A pathway lined with vermilion torii shrine gates

Omiyamairi & Shichi-Go-San

Timing, the hatsuho-ryo offering, attire and the day-of packing list.

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Check typical amounts

Soft light filtering through a Japanese shoji paper screen

Ofuse Amounts

Temple donation ranges by Buddhist school, with envelope etiquette.

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White baby shoes resting on a wooden floor

Baby Gift Amounts

Typical amounts by relationship, timing, wrapping and gift ideas.

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Hands offering a gift box wrapped with a gold ribbon

Koden Return Gifts

The half-return rule, timing and classic gift choices.

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Choosing & comparing

A close-up of prayer beads held in a hand

Choosing Prayer Beads

Informal vs. formal, men's and women's, materials and prices.

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An assortment of small gift boxes wrapped with red ribbon

Petit Gifts & Favors

The three-item gift set, tiered gifting and send-off gifts.

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Two types of formal envelope compared: a celebratory and a mourning design

Choosing a Koden Envelope

Cord colors, amount matching and religion-specific designs.

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Hands of a woman in black formal mourning wear offering a condolence envelope

Choosing Mourning Attire

The three formality ranks and buying guides for men and women.

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How to use this site

  1. In a hurry? The Koden and Goshugi guides show typical amounts and writing steps on the spot
  2. Before attending, run the Packing Checklist (progress is saved on your device)
  3. Screen speeches and condolence texts with the Taboo Word Checker