The main services and their timing
| Service | Timing |
|---|---|
| Shijukunichi (49th day) | 49 days after passing; often combined with interment |
| Hyakkanichi (100th day) | Day 100; nowadays often family-only or omitted |
| Isshuki (1st anniversary) | One full year; the most important anniversary rite |
| Sankaiki (3rd-year rite) | Two full years (note the counting) |
| 7th-year rite onward | From six full years; scale gradually shrinks |
Services are usually moved earlier to a convenient weekend before the actual date - never later.
If you attend as a guest
- Gobutsuzen envelope: from the 49th day onward the inscription is 御仏前. Typical amounts: 5,000-10,000 yen, or 10,000-30,000 yen if you join the meal
- Offering: sweets or fruit, around 3,000-5,000 yen, depending on regional custom Find offering sweets
- Prayer beads and fukusa: bring them as you would to a funeral
- Dress: mourning wear through the 3rd-year rite; for later rites or when "heifuku" is specified, subdued black, navy or gray
Final check: the Ceremony Packing Checklist (select Memorial service).
If you are the host
- Date and venue: fix them 1-2 months ahead, prioritizing the temple's schedule
- Invitations: contact guests by phone or card
- Ofuse: 30,000-50,000 yen is typical for the sutra reading, with transport and meal allowances sometimes added - see the Ofuse Amount Guide
- Return gifts: consumables (tea, sweets, towels) of 2,000-5,000 yen per household
- The meal (o-toki): book a restaurant or catering; if the priest declines, add a meal allowance
- Offerings, portrait, memorial tablet: gather everything the day before
Flow of the day (Buddhist example)
- Host and guests gather; the priest is welcomed
- Sutra reading and incense offering (see the incense guide)
- The priest's short sermon
- (49th day) move to the interment
- The meal, closing greeting by the host
Related pages
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Frequently asked questions
How much money do I bring to a memorial service?
5,000-10,000 yen for the service alone, or 10,000-30,000 yen if you join the meal - varying with your relationship and the region.
What inscription goes on the envelope for the 49th day?
御仏前 (go-butsuzen). The 49th-day rite marks the end of mourning, so 御仏前 is the usual choice from that day onward.
Should I wear mourning dress to a memorial service?
Through the 3rd-year rite, yes. For later rites, or when the invitation says 'heifuku', wear subdued black, navy or gray.
Can the service be held after the actual anniversary?
Custom moves it earlier, not later - usually a weekend before the date. Decide together with the family temple.
What offering should I bring?
Long-keeping sweets, fruit or incense sticks, around 3,000-5,000 yen, with a 御供 gift label.
Is it rude to skip the meal?
Not if you say so in advance. In that case the service-only amount (5,000-10,000 yen) is appropriate.
