Hikidemono basics: the three-item set
Hikidemono are the thank-you gifts guests take home from the reception. The traditional form is a main gift + a sweet (hikigashi) + a lucky item; some regions use two or five items (odd counts are customary - even numbers divide, evoking separation).
| Component | Budget |
|---|---|
| Main gift | 3,000-5,000 yen - about 10% of the expected gift money |
| Sweet | 1,000-1,500 yen |
| Lucky item | Around 1,000 yen |
| Total | About 5,000-8,000 yen |
Tiered gifting (okuriwake)
Since guests give different amounts, preparing two or three gift tiers by relationship is now mainstream.
- Friends and colleagues: the standard set (main gift around 3,000 yen)
- Bosses and guests of honor: main gift upgraded to 5,000-10,000 yen
- Relatives: higher gift money, so a 5,000-yen-plus main gift, sometimes with more items
- Couples: one set per household, one rank above standard
The trick: choose items that fit identical bags, so tiers are not visible at a glance.
Classic sweets and lucky items
- Sweets: baumkuchen (its rings symbolize accumulating years), red-and-white sweets, long-keeping baked goods Find hikigashi sweets
- Lucky items: katsuobushi bonito flakes, kombu ("yorokobu" - to rejoice), red-and-white noodles, sekihan rice
- Avoid: green tea (funerals), knives (cutting ties); some regions still mind fragile ceramics, though this is fading
The catalog-gift option
Light to carry home, easy to tier, impossible to mismatch - many couples now make the main gift a catalog gift. Fine-grained price tiers map directly onto okuriwake. Find catalog gifts
With many far-flung guests, home-delivered hikidemono are also established - guests leave the party hands-free.
Petit gifts for the send-off
Petit gifts are the small items the couple hand to each guest at the send-off - 200-500 yen each, a custom descending from European dragees ("seeds of happiness").
- Classics: individually wrapped sweets (cookies, chocolate, konpeito), mini towels, bath salts, single-serve coffee or tea Find petit gifts
- Selection tips: compact, keeps at room temperature, works for every age
- They accompany a personal word of thanks, so festive looks matter too
Related pages
PR — This page contains promotional content
Frequently asked questions
What is the hikidemono budget?
Main gift at about 10% of the expected gift money (3,000-5,000 yen), plus sweet and lucky item - about 5,000-8,000 yen total.
Why an odd number of items?
Even numbers divide, evoking separation, so sets of three or five are customary. The standard count varies by region.
How should tiers be divided?
Friends/colleagues, bosses/guests of honor, and relatives - two or three tiers. Keep bag sizes identical so tiers stay invisible.
What do couples attending together receive?
One set per household, one rank above the standard set.
Are petit gifts mandatory?
No, but most couples prepare them - they create a moment of personal thanks at the send-off. 200-500 yen each is plenty.
