Wake vs. funeral: is the dress code different?
Traditionally the wake (tsuya) was attended in subdued everyday clothes, since one "rushed over" on hearing the news. Today, mourning dress (jun-mofuku) is the norm at wakes too. Subdued plain clothes remain acceptable only when you literally rush over the same day.
Attire for men
Attendees wear jun-mofuku: the black formal suit. Its black is noticeably deeper than a business suit's. Find formal suits
- Shirt: plain white, no button-down collars
- Necktie: matte plain black, no tie pin Find black neckties
- Shoes, socks, belt: all black, minimal hardware
- Watch: remove flashy or gold watches, or wear a simple one
Attire for women
Black formal wear (ensemble or dress) is the standard - modest coverage, nothing shiny or ornate. Find black formal wear
- Skirt length: covering the knee; at least elbow-length sleeves even in summer
- Stockings: black; in winter, thin black tights at most
- Accessories: wedding ring plus a single-strand pearl necklace and single-pearl earrings only. Double strands evoke "misfortune doubling" and are avoided
- Bag and shoes: black fabric or matte leather; no patent leather, prominent metal or mules
- Makeup and hair: subdued - no glitter or bright lipstick; hair tied low
Children
A school uniform is formal wear. Without one, a white shirt with black, navy or gray bottoms is sufficient - children are not judged as strictly as adults.
What to bring
- Koden envelope, wrapped in a cool-colored or purple fukusa - see the Koden Envelope & Amount Guide
- Prayer beads (juzu): bringing your own is proper at Buddhist services; borrowing is discouraged Find prayer beads
- Handkerchief: plain white or black
- Umbrella and coat: subdued colors; no fur or leather coats, and remove your coat before entering
Do a final sweep with the Ceremony Packing Checklist.
Related pages
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Frequently asked questions
Is plain clothing really acceptable at a wake?
Only when you rush over the same day you hear the news. With today's scheduled wakes, mourning dress is the norm.
Can I attend in a black business suit?
Tolerated for a sudden visit or wake, but its black is visibly lighter than formal wear. For the funeral service itself, wear black formal attire.
Should I wear a pearl necklace?
It is optional. If you do, a single strand of white or black pearls only - double strands evoke misfortune doubling.
Are tights acceptable instead of stockings?
Thin black tights are increasingly accepted. Avoid thick, casual-looking ribbed tights.
What if I do not own prayer beads?
Not having them is not a breach of etiquette, but borrowing is discouraged - a simple informal (ryakushiki) juzu is worth owning.
My child has no black clothes - what then?
School uniform if there is one; otherwise a white shirt with dark bottoms is fine. Children are not judged as strictly as adults.
