Attire for male guests
The standard is a black formal suit or dark suit with a white shirt and a white or silver necktie. A plain black tie is strictly for funerals - never wear one to a wedding. Shoes: black leather lace-ups (closed-lacing straight-tip is the most formal). Find silver neckties
- Avoid: white suits (the groom's color), black ties, loud patterns, sneakers, white socks
- Pocket square: white or silver adds the festive touch
- If "heifuku" (semi-formal) is specified: jacket and slacks - it does not mean casual wear
Attire for female guests
A semi-formal dress or two-piece is the norm. The guiding rules: never compete with the bride, and keep it celebration-appropriate. Find party dresses
- No white - it belongs to the bride. Very pale beige can photograph as white, so add color with a wrap or accessories
- Modest coverage: at daytime ceremonies, cover bare shoulders with a bolero or shawl
- No fur, animal prints or leather - they evoke the taking of life, avoided at celebrations
- Stockings required: bare legs are a faux pas; plain beige is standard
- Shoes: closed-toe pumps with heels; no sandals or mules
A small party bag plus a sub-bag for belongings is the classic combination. Find party bags
If you are asked to staff the reception desk
The reception desk welcomes guests on behalf of both families - it is an honor and a responsibility.
- Arrive 30-60 minutes before doors open and greet both sets of parents
- Confirm the guest book, pens, and how the gift money will be managed (who receives it, when)
- Greet each guest with "Honjitsu wa okoshi itadaki arigato gozaimasu" and ask them to sign
- Receive gift envelopes with both hands, saying "O-azukari itashimasu"
- After reception closes, hand all envelopes to the designated person without fail
Give your own gift envelope to a fellow receptionist before duty starts.
What to bring on the day
Gift envelope (with new bills), fukusa cloth, invitation and a handkerchief are the essentials. Run through the Ceremony Packing Checklist the day before, and check amounts and writing in the Goshugi Envelope & Amount Guide.
Related pages
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Frequently asked questions
Can I wear a black suit to a wedding?
A formal black suit (reifuku) is fine. A business black suit reads as a lighter black, so brighten it with a white shirt, a light tie and a pocket square. A plain black tie is funeral wear - never wear one.
What does 'heifuku' (plain dress) mean on an invitation?
It means semi-formal, not casual: jacket and slacks for men, a neat dress for women.
Is a pale dress that looks white acceptable?
White belongs to the bride. Pale beige or champagne can photograph as white, so add visible color with a wrap or accessories.
How early should reception-desk staff arrive?
30-60 minutes before doors open - enough time to greet both families, check the guest book and confirm how gift money is handled.
What if I forget my gift envelope?
Tell the reception desk honestly, then hand it over or send it by registered cash mail (genkin kakitome) as soon as possible afterwards.
Can students attend in school uniform?
Yes - a school uniform is formal wear for students. Without one, choose a dark suit or dress.
